Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet
Turning workplace drama into productive outcomes
1Conflict Styles & When to Use Them
- Competing: Stand your ground firmly. Use when: critical principles at stake, quick decision needed, implementing unpopular necessary action.
- Collaborating: Find win-win solution. Use when: both sets of concerns too important to compromise, need to merge insights, buy-in crucial.
- Compromising: Meet in the middle. Use when: goals moderately important, equal power exists, temporary solution needed, deadline looming.
- Accommodating: Yield to others. Use when: issue matters more to others, preserving harmony is priority, building credit for future issues.
2Defusing Heated Situations
- Label emotions: 'I can see you're frustrated' acknowledges feelings without agreement. Magic phrase to lower temperature.
- Reframe problem: Shift from personal conflicts to shared problems: 'How can we solve this together?'
- Use curious questions: 'Help me understand...' invites explanation without accusation. Can't be said with crossed arms.
- Take strategic timeout: 'Let's take 10 minutes' when emotions run high. Amygdala hijacks prevent rational discussion.
3Difficult Conversation Framework
- Prepare privately: Know your goal, plan key points, anticipate reactions. Never wing a difficult conversation.
- Start with agreement: Find common ground before differences. 'We both want this project to succeed...'
- Use 'I' statements: 'I noticed/felt/observed...' not 'You always/never...' The latter activates defensive shields.
- Propose next steps: End with clear actions and agreement. Without this, you've just had a nice chat about problems.
4Mediating Others' Conflicts
- Establish ground rules: No interrupting, focus on issues not personalities, shared commitment to resolution.
- Active listening loop: Each party states their view, other repeats it back accurately before responding.
- Look for interests vs positions: Move from 'what they want' to 'why they want it' to find creative solutions.
- Document agreements: Write down what was decided, have all parties acknowledge it. Memories are creatively selective.
Quick Tips & Tricks
- Address conflicts early - they rarely improve with age
- Remember that most workplace conflicts are about roles, resources, and miscommunication, not personality
- Take disputes to the lowest possible level before escalating
- The goal isn't to eliminate conflict but to harness it for better decisions and innovation
The Last Word
Workplace conflict is like kitchen leftovers - address it when fresh, or it grows into something unrecognizable that everyone avoids opening.
Life's too short for boring management. Make it count.
Management Masterâ„¢
Pro tip: Pin these cheat sheets to your office wall or slip them into your notebook for emergency management situations.