Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet
Turning workplace drama into productive outcomes

1
Conflict Styles & When to Use Them

  • Competing: Stand your ground firmly. Use when: critical principles at stake, quick decision needed, implementing unpopular necessary action.
  • Collaborating: Find win-win solution. Use when: both sets of concerns too important to compromise, need to merge insights, buy-in crucial.
  • Compromising: Meet in the middle. Use when: goals moderately important, equal power exists, temporary solution needed, deadline looming.
  • Accommodating: Yield to others. Use when: issue matters more to others, preserving harmony is priority, building credit for future issues.

2
Defusing Heated Situations

  • Label emotions: 'I can see you're frustrated' acknowledges feelings without agreement. Magic phrase to lower temperature.
  • Reframe problem: Shift from personal conflicts to shared problems: 'How can we solve this together?'
  • Use curious questions: 'Help me understand...' invites explanation without accusation. Can't be said with crossed arms.
  • Take strategic timeout: 'Let's take 10 minutes' when emotions run high. Amygdala hijacks prevent rational discussion.

3
Difficult Conversation Framework

  • Prepare privately: Know your goal, plan key points, anticipate reactions. Never wing a difficult conversation.
  • Start with agreement: Find common ground before differences. 'We both want this project to succeed...'
  • Use 'I' statements: 'I noticed/felt/observed...' not 'You always/never...' The latter activates defensive shields.
  • Propose next steps: End with clear actions and agreement. Without this, you've just had a nice chat about problems.

4
Mediating Others' Conflicts

  • Establish ground rules: No interrupting, focus on issues not personalities, shared commitment to resolution.
  • Active listening loop: Each party states their view, other repeats it back accurately before responding.
  • Look for interests vs positions: Move from 'what they want' to 'why they want it' to find creative solutions.
  • Document agreements: Write down what was decided, have all parties acknowledge it. Memories are creatively selective.

The Last Word

Workplace conflict is like kitchen leftovers - address it when fresh, or it grows into something unrecognizable that everyone avoids opening.

Life's too short for boring management. Make it count.
Management Masterâ„¢

Pro tip: Pin these cheat sheets to your office wall or slip them into your notebook for emergency management situations.